Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize