The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
where are you?
Hypothermia
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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