saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize