I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
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You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
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But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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