Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
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