my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
God I need to hump something, right now.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize