She said her name was "party"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize