**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
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We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
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It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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