My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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