I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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