I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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