oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize