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it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
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