Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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