i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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