don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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