lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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