I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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