I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize