I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
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admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
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Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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