remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize