cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You are a genius and a whore.
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