I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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