one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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