"it" just moved
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize