Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
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How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
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Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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