The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
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every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
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Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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