Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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