census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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