capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
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Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
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Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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