He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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