We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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