No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Do vagina's smell?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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