Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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