So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize