just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize