He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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