I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
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