If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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