He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
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I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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