it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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