4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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