a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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