I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
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His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
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Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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