I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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