I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize