Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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