Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize