I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My feet surprised me
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize