I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
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i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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