i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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